


his place

by guide_to_the_galaxy



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2003), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Brotherly Bonding, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Gen, and 2003 leo ive always had a soft spot for, mikey is an incredible well rounded character who deserves infinite respect, well all the 2003 turts have my heart really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:00:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23370592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/guide_to_the_galaxy/pseuds/guide_to_the_galaxy
Summary: Mikey’s figuring out where exactly he belongs in his family. Luckily, he’s got Leo here to help.
Relationships: Leonardo & Michelangelo (TMNT)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 110





	his place

**Author's Note:**

> A commission for the wonderful Moonie!! Love u bunches, and love Mikey too!

There comes a point in Michelangelo’s life where he comes to terms with the fact that there are just things in his life that he won’t… _get_. Of course, this isn’t saying much, considering he’s fought demons and traveled across universes and has even seen various versions of himself. **  
**

Not to mention a whole bunch of other shitty, hilariously awful things- like, no seriously, _they don’t need mentioning._

And it’s not that it all that much bugs Mikey- all of the things he and his family’s been through- but sometimes he does wish he could just understand it all. That he can catch his breath long enough to make sense of their lives and their purpose and their fates. 

But trying to map all of that out can be pretty taxing for a turtle, and so Mikey sorta makes an unannounced vow to just roll with the punches, and patch his family up when they roll a bit too hard. 

One night, after a particularly nasty fight- and Donnie’s still got Leo’s blood on his arms- Donnie tells Mikey that he’s _incredibly and wonderfully perceptive._

Mikey shrugs to that, not all too concerned with what his brother means, though he’s positive that he knows. Perceptive, incredibly and wonderfully, or not- Mikey’s really just doing his job. 

/./

As a ninja, Mikey’s never had to question if he had a place (covering Raph’s six to be precise); he understood almost as immediately as his father that he was gifted with something innate and unique. He could learn a kata in half the time, he could see a move once and play it back with precision. 

Mikey never thought much of it- of his agility and flawless memory and raw talent- outside of how convenient his abilities were for getting out of early morning extra practice. 

The Battle Nexus _pretty_ much soldifies his skill and for _that_ Mikey will genuinely gloat about because holy fuck- that’s legacy right there. 

So he’s always kinda known that as long as he lived there’d always be a fight, and that as long as he had his brothers, he’d _always_ have a place in the fight. 

A place in his _family_ , though, Mikey tries really hard _not_ to think about. It’s just a thing. He’s…he’s here. He’s one of four and loved and that’s all that matters. Mikey convinces himself that’s enough for a long time, because when they’re younger and the world is trying to kill them- it _is_ enough. Just being a brother, just existing in that. 

But then things change and Mikey isn’t so sure he’s got enough to bring to the table outside of the fight. He doesn’t measure up. Because even with all of the fighting Raph and Leo manage to do on the daily- they still rely on each other. 

Late into the night, Mikey gets to overhear the two share their fears together, a little stubborn in how tightly they’d hold onto the feigned supposed strength of apathy. 

Sometimes it’s just Raph and Leo sitting in the kitchen, a lot of times Donnie is thrown in the mix- mostly because he’s just up anyway, a part of Mikey thinks. 

But then he knows that if Leo didn’t want Donnie a part of those little, quiet talks, he’d make sure Don would _never_ know. 

But there Donnie would be, a soft smile that would try and be sorta reassuring and arms loosely folded, listening. And Mikey watches from the dark bathroom, door cracked open just enough for him to see and hear.

“We need to…be careful,” Leo says, hunched over their little kitchen table and looking entirely unlike himself, “That’s all I’m saying here.” 

“Haven’t we, though?” comes Raph’s reply, only half-sarcastic in how he snorts, even though he knows- 

“That’s not what I mean,” Leo sighs, and sits up. He does that. He sits up and places both his hands on his biceps, like he’s hugging himself. Mikey knows exactly when Leo’s become agitated, and that Raph should just- 

“I mean, we been doin’ all these rounds of extra training, runnin’ ourselves t’ the bone, avoidin’ this fucking turf war- you want more careful?”

Donnie is quiet; Donnie’s _always_ quiet when it comes to these things. He hates confrontation, and Mikey thinks to step out of his habitual hiding place to lighten shit up just so his brother can stop looking like he’ll throw up in a minute. 

“I think-”

“Sorry, Don,” Leo interjects, holding up a hand, and directing a pointed look at Raph, “Raph, I’m getting the sense that you’re not a fan of my strategy, I get that but we can’t go risking our lives, or our _brothers’ lives_ just to get a small victory.” 

Mikey rolls his eyes, because Leo is right, annoyingly right. And he’s making a decision on what Mikey can risk and that’s not all that fair, even if he’s-

“Right,” Raph scoffs. He knows Leo is, and he knows Leo can see through him. Mikey catches that from the way his brother tightens his shoulders, guarded, “Like Donnie and Mikes can’t decide f’ themselves?” 

_Leo 1, Raph…also 1. Huh. Say something Donnie._

“Donnie _agrees,”_ Leo says, totally fucking over that notion, “And Mikey…”

Mikey strains his ears, leaning a little bit on the door, almost forgetting he’s supposed to be asleep right now and totally not eavesdropping on super serious, incredibly ridiculous conversations. 

“Mikey what?” Raph laughs, and Mikey stops breathing, practically, to hear what comes after. Like he doesn’t already know. 

Like this doesn’t happen almost nightly now. All the same conversations. Just…different layouts and stuff. 

Leo searches for what to say, his eyes shift, and he’s regretting bringing this up to begin with, “Mikey will follow your example, that’s all. If you charge in without thinking, he’ll do it too, and I can’t let you risk his life just so you can feel like you’re making a difference.” 

_Oh. That’s new._

* * *

“You want eggs or…?” 

Mikey never actually left that conversation from four nights back; he looks at Leo and his mind wanders right back to it. 

So he tries to busy himself. They’re practically on lockdown- Leo and Splinter’s orders- and he’s going a bit stir crazy just…sitting, and thinking, and overthinking. 

“Hm?” Leo sits up a little, and it’s like every bit of stress he’s got on him holds him down and folds him over. 

It’s weird to watch and makes Mikey’s guilt, like, _skyrocket_ because being mad at Leo right now just feels wrong, even if his feelings are super warranted. It’s the last thing his brother needs. 

He’d think Mikey was just following Raph, after all. 

“I was, uh…seeing if you wanted, like, eggs? Or something else?” 

Leo blinks whatever sat on his mind, and suddenly he’s a little more of himself, sitting up all the way and straightening himself out. “Eggs would be great, Mikey,” he says with a smile that’s more exasperated than anything else, “Thanks…sorry.” 

Mikey shrugs it off, not trusting himself to say much. He sets to work, making sunny side ups just the way he knows Leo likes, and keeps his back to his brother, and his mouth in a firm line. 

_Fuck, where’s Don to mess with when you need the guy?_

“You okay?” 

_Fuck, fuck, **fuck**. _

Leo isn’t sitting at the table now. He’s standing right beside Mikey, a bit awkwardly and not relaxed at all, but he’s _trying_. And that should matter, a lot. 

“Hm,” Mikey slides the spatula effortlessly under the eggs, and sets them onto a plate, cracking two more onto the pan, “Oh yeah, I’m good.”

His voice cracked, _shit_. And Leo’s not moving. 

“Why, what’s up, coach?” 

And Leo doesn’t answer immediately, and the anxiety drops further into the pit of Mikey’s stomach. But then Leo puts his hand on Mikey’s shoulder and that feeling gets infinitely worse. 

“You’re never tense, especially when you cook,” Leo tries a smile, “That’s what’s up…”

“Heh,” Mikey sniffs, trying to step out of Leo’s hold, “I dunno. Could be my arthritis kicking in, you know, like, Splinter was talking about that kinda stuff- barometric pressure’s a bitch!…heh.”

Leo laughs through his nose. “Don’t curse…you’re almost as bad as Raph-”

Unintentionally, Mikey tenses further, and of course Leo doesn’t miss a beat of that. 

_Just tell him. Just spill, you’re torturing yourself man!_

Whipping around to face Leo, Mikey tries not to look so mad. In the reflection on the microwave, he thinks he’s doing an awful job. 

“What’s wrong with that?” he asks, denands, but there’s not really much bite to his voice. 

Leo almost looks thrown off anyway, “With…cursing? Mikey I was just-”

“No, _Leo-”_ Mikey groans, and pulls his brother to sit him down at the table, sitting right across from Leo after, “Look, you wanna talk, obviously. You _also_ obviously think you have to…make these big decisions for everyone. For me. And…you don’t. Like forreal.” 

Leo stares, wide-eyes and unblinking, which is really fair, considering Mikey sprung all of this up in a matter of fifteen seconds. 

“If this…is about the conversation from the other night…” Leo starts, slowly piecing it together. 

But Mikey slouches, throwing his arms up and dragging his hands down his face, “It’s not _just_ that, Leo- and, yeah I definitely overheard, like, _everything-”_ Mikey deflates, “-it’s a lot of things. But, yeah, the fact that you. Don’t trust me enough to make my own decisions, or just, like, follow Raph into this turf shit- yeah, that _sucks.”_

Leo knows better than to interrupt just yet, but the way his face gets framed by guilt says enough. 

“You just…” Mikey searches for his words, trying not to back down, “I’m not stupid.”

At that Leo instinctively reaches out to his brother, “Oh no, no. Mikey, I don’t… I _never-”_

“But you kinda do-!” Mikey blurts, and rushes ahead anyway, “Like, in little ways. And I know you want us safe, and you want us to _not_ do dumb stuff but…I can make my own decisions- shell, Leo, at least let me be a part of it! I can fight with you dudes all day, but if I’m not even in the discussion ….” 

Mikey finally deflates, and lets himself breathe, and when he looks at Leo he immediately knows his brother understands. He never doubted that Leo would- but… 

“I know….” Leo says, dejectedly, and offers up a somewhat hopeful smile, “I mean, I didn’t but. I did.” 

“Had a hunch, huh?” Mikey laughs bittersweetly, scratching the back of his neck, “What gave it away?”

Leo relaxes a little where he sits, “Well, one, when you’re _actually_ asleep- you snore like crazy. Nights lately have only been the sound of Don workin, so…you haven’t been sleeping,” surmising this, Leo quirks his brow ridge. 

“And, two. When you’re awake- you’re never quiet. Lately, though…” 

He looks across the table at Mikey, and Mikey drops his eyes sheepishly. 

“Guess I’m an open book…” 

Leo chuckles to himself, “More or less. But, Mikey, we learn a lot from you. We need you that way…I guess that’s why I’ve been an ass about all of this.” 

“You’re not an ass, dude,” Mikey mumbles around a smile, bouncing a leg that shakes the table slightly, “Not _all_ the time, anyway.” 

“Appreciate that,” Leo sniffs with an edge of humor to him, before quickly turning serious again as he lifts his eyes to find Mikey’s, “But you. Mikey, you. You and Donnie. I know we’re all 19 now, but you two are still my responsibility. Mine _and_ Raph’s. And you, especially….”

“I’m not more special than Don, Leo-”

“Mikey, you saved my life,” Leo interjects, sharply but not in any way that’s angry, “And that’s not saying Donnie or…or Raph haven’t. Countless times. But, there was…you saw, when I was in. In a _really_ dark place.”

Leo’s voice is cold and stony and far removed from whatever emotions his memories are calling upon. And Mikey’s own blood and body sort of runs cold from the recollection. Because it’s…he remembers vividly- the fear and the heartbreak he felt back then. 

“And no one saw it,” Leo continues, after some pause, “Not that I made it easy….which I guess is why it’s even more remarkable to me that you did. Because I swore to myself, after failing that much that I. That I wouldn’t let anyone- make me feel like I deserved anything else.” 

Leo shakes off the chill running through him, and it’s weird because it runs through Mikey too. 

“But you did,” Leo says with a sad smile, “You picked it out that quick. And you’re so stubborn, you made me…get better.”

Mikey remembers long, long nights of coaxing his brother just to come inside. To leave from the cold, bitter snow outside the farmhouse and rest his head. 

Reassuring his brother that they’re all okay, and that it’s never been all on Leo. Months of weathering outbursts not all that directed at him, of crying and breaking down and finally getting Leo to come clean to the others. 

Mikey doesn’t think he did groundbreaking work. He’s just…being a brother. 

“And so, Mikey, I guess I know you’re not stupid.” Leo chuckles, resting his elbows on his knees and his chin against his knuckles, “I _guess_. And I know you can handle it- all of it. But part of me feels like you shouldn’t. Because we need you… here. In the headspace to keep being you. Maybe it’s selfish, but your perception, your joy- I can’t lose that. I can’t… let you lose that.”

“And I’m sorry…”

Mikey doesn’t realize his mouth is hanging open a little, in a soft _oh_. 

_Oh…shit._

And Mikey can’t formulate the words, he just stares at Leo, and then at his own bouncing leg. 

Luckily he doesn’t have to speak. He figures he’s not the only one with perception. Leo just stands up and closes their distance and wraps his arms around Mikey, letting Mike’s forehead fall against the middle of his plastron.

They stay that way, until Mikey just laughs, and it catches Leo too. 

And maybe that’s enough.

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve always felt like it was Mikey who really saved Leo, by noticing something was up, and so I just put a little spend on that in my own lil way!!


End file.
